Showing posts from 2018

When She Inconveniences You By Being Dead...

Excitedly, I snapped the pic. 
You had talked about Holiday Inn and Memphis since I was a child. You shared your experiences, your fun times, what you learned and expounded how I had to go there to feel the 'soul'.  How could I be standing in front of this history and not think of you?
I would love to show you. 

But, I can't. On the inconvenient fact of you being dead and all. 

You would have loved it. All of it. The music, the history, the culture, oh...and the people. Mom, you would have loved talking to these people. You would not have shut up one bit, you would have chimed in the history you knew and threw in cultural comparisons between the North and South. There is no doubt you would have loved the hotel and the pillows. You would have mowed down on some delicious treats. Your walker would have gotten its wear and tear hitting the road and taking breaks while you took in the sights...and low whistled at the eye candy you would call 'scenery' you would have certai…

For The Person Who Doesn't Think They Are Worthy Of Love, This Is For You

You have been hurt. 


So bad, in fact, that you think that the pain you have experienced you deserved in some way or another because you are not worthy of kindness, beauty or love. 

But the pain you felt due to other's indifference, apathy, immaturity, or just plain spite...? That, had nothing to do with you-and everything to do with their souls that were not ready to love. Unfortunately, you were the one who it was taken out on and that's why you are reading this right now. You need to know that their anger, their ill-communication, their dishonesty, their unfaithfulness, the pain they brought you, was not a reflection of your worth or lack thereof, it was a reflection of their need to grow as a human. 

It doesn't feel like that though. 

You thought that you were more than enough to make someone else act differently. You thought, perhaps, that your love could change their unhealthy habits or break down their outer shell. But, that did not happen. 

And, that's okay.


Goodbye Ghost

I dated a ghost for too long. Oddly enough, he made me feel alive with his dead regurgitated words that he must have salvaged from from graveyards no one visits any more. I wasn't quite ever able to be on the same plane as him, we were often times in the same room but...he was elsewhere, worried about not being good enough, a veil grew between us inspired by his fear of not only the future but of the now."I know you don't think I love you, but I do Jenn, I do", said through tears with a pained cracked voice.But, I couldn't feel it. Because the actions didn't line up with the words. On the foolish 4th chance I gave him, a date where he planned it- all I had to do was show up, he left me pounding on his apartment door in the frigid winter air, chilled to the bone because he wouldn't answer, again. I should have known history was bound to repeat itself. But I'm a fool who likes to relapse on past lovers because of the familiarity...because at least I kno…